Making schedules just to tear them up again. Living on frustrated dreams and tearing people inside out for making your job more difficult. It's the same as it was before - someone asks a question and you make a theatre of bile and ridicule. Share your anger and it ends up in the wrong place. A distant time yet the same face.
Withholding information for a long time as he hasn't done what I've told him. His complaints ring hollow to me even if they are the truth. Tired routines, tired excuses. I could gaslight him into losing weight, women have had to suffer it all these years, let's see how he deals with it. I don't want to hear him speak, the snivelling little gobshite. He's young so what the fuck does he know? Only I know where the answers are and not only that I HAVE THE ANSWERS TO EVERYTHING!
Send a little letter so that I can persuade them to take him off the list. I'll send it twice in case he rips up the papers. I've denied him proper medication for three years because the infection is more important. All those years telling him his bloods are okay. All I want is an easy life, string all these people one way or another if they happily comply with my regulations. This poor bastard didn't and it's his own fault.
The pain that he feels is real. He exhausted all options. But you believed there has to be some mistake. You look up for files that aren't there. He had the main thing done elsewhere. So what do you know about treating patients. What do we know about your patience? Very thin on the ground. Don't look at his face, just tell him to sit and don't move the chair.
If you really stopped caring, if you really stopped believing, if you would let a person speak out why they feel worried, we'd probably get somewhere. You and the people who work under you really go for the controlled aggression when a patient gets difficult. If they perceive something in my tone that's not really there, I'd apologise but not after rinsing their hands of me.
Keep playing god, you're the one who has an idea of how it really is!
