The Domestic Bliss ( Taken For Granted )

In a change of space, a change of place. A dream I'd always wanted. But old feelings linger in the midst of a perennial fate. The deadlines are coming much too soon. And nobody has what they wanted.

The week's get shorter and everything dries up. The domestic bliss or something more than this. Every now and then, there's something lurking over there. Everything else just dreams with a magical return. Still looking over pictures and dreaming of another tomorrow.

You can only see how we are and dreaming into the stage of open hands. Old songs and radio know where we are headed. Nothing is taken for granted. I'm just holding out on the stage of another tomorrow. Nobody has this thing taken for granted. It's just something that bears repeating. No matter how old it gets.

You can sit there and tell me how it's done as if everything around you is so easy. Expanding waistlines and communicative arts. You're not backwards in going forwards. Into the sea or into the air, find us a place where we really care. Feeling that life is spent out of past regrets and now I'm saving everything for her.

Everything is happy but there's so much else in life that's bringing me down.

I don't want to be barbaric/I just want to cut it up

A word from Christopher Mayhew

"I think the simplest explanation is, is that I had these experiences, that they were real and that they took place outside of time."

The Universal Complaint

Features and faces, drawn out of time. TV news stations, radio setlists, burning images through the flames. Dances in echoes, jumping from windows, an evergrowing set of circumstances I will never understand. Cut the clues and clean yourself in, dreaming of a better tomorrow.

Loving relationships, long cycles through time. Feeding the frenzy that burns from within. Falling asleep under the blankets of time. You damage me so much, I feel as though I haven't had time for her at all. A constant staring into the abyss and wondering where I go when you're not here. It's called the new apprehension.

Cutting from deadlines and delayed messages, one hopeless sentence that will wash me away. Keep feeling as inept and featureless through distant memories that fall by the wayside. Clue myself in with the terms that'll haunt me for the rest of my life. You're a big boy now, you should know these things. Spend my time criticising the universal complaint as I'm part of it all now. Spend your life in a free-for-all.

A textural treat, one that keeps us going. How many hours are we going to do today? How many days are we going to do this week? What's the overall effect. If all I had to do was click a pen to feel important, I'd be made for life. If all I had was taken away, they might as well just take me away as well. A summer holiday where nobody knows my name.

The Future In Your Hands

The yearning never stops
Increasingly worn through
I'm never satisfied until
Your arms will soothe me

I dream a thousand kisses
Lullabies as you lay me to sleep
The future in your hands
We wrap ourselves with care

In disjointed thoughts
My love splinters in form
The heart that I have broken
Is the heart I'm keen to mend

Fading across the oceans
Landmarks in the architecture
Faltering in the skies at night
I take pleasure in your delight

Dreams Are Reborn

I wonder what it was that made you love me. Or if it was in my own head. I'm better off now. I'm with someone who loves me and I love her back. But something keeps chipping away at me from the past. Likes shards of broken glass melting in my flesh. I've dwelled on it for far too long. The sense of humiliation never lets go. Never remind me because I never forget. It's always there burning in the background of our lies.

I don't know where you went to. I should be happy of disappearances because you made me nervous. I felt just like a girl, always waiting for you to make the first move, I forgot what gender I am. You know it's silly but it kept me brimming with an eager sense of love. Or of longing, I think I can tell the difference now. It wasn't love you wanted, I was just an amateur psychiatrist tending to your neurosis.

It seems funny that I feel like I'm cryogenically frozen in time just at the mere mention of your former location. But even then, the closer I got, the further you seemed to get. I guess it didn't matter. I wish I could forget you. She's getting tired of you. The more she tries to understand, the more it irritates her. I can't blame her. I shouldn't think of her or myself as someone's leftovers. But I feel so brittle, the only thing that gives me any satisfaction is that you'll die some day.

Living in your city for two months has left an impression on me that my wildly stupid idealism could not hide. For months I could see the roads that led to you. The nights filled with chicanes of neon lights. The thought that I should have gone on the train with another girl from Munich. She might have broken my heart but at least she would've done it nicely. As nice as would be possible. Just to see her in a black and white striped top. Smell the perfume of her clothes. To think of a life I could've had if you let me in. These days, I'm getting closer to my dream of being with the one I love. Even if I don't have too much money.

You see I love her more than I could've loved you. I'm afraid I'll lose her, my old apprehensions come back to haunt me. I know she loves me but I can't take that for granted. I always want her to be happy and I'll never willingly harm her in the process. She makes me feel like a child again. I feel empty without her. Everything I've ever felt with her makes me feel like I'm doing it for a good and just cause. Though it all comes back to you. You bludgeon me with the feeling I lived a lie. Worse that I created one out of my own head. We spoke the same language differently only with misunderstandings from start to finish. If I could legally kill you I would. Rid my conscience of you and your doppelgangers.

Finally I want to live alone with my lover, my wife, my joy. I no longer want to give her the impression that she's second best or a substitute for another. I want to be a perfect lover for her. I want to be hers and hers alone and I want to let her know that she's the only one for me. I'm blame my perfectionist outlook if I make her feel bad. She'll always have my devotion because it's more than just love.

In Central Europe, my dreams are reborn.

Why do you repeat everything you say? The message has been received but you've never understood that I carry on with my life as before. You can't help but interfere but don't like it when others interfere with you.

Assassin in my place with a shaded face set to the skies.