Drown/Death Reheated

Follow into the echo chamber. Follow into the endless desire of a broken mind. Walking barefoot on glass splinters. The remedies we seek on further inspection. Lies, blame and deflection are the name of the game. I want to drown out her rampant paranoia or I wish that she would drown. I know it's not very polite but she drains the living daylights out of me.

Glass half empty, glass half full - what difference does it make which side you see it from. Throwing away half your history because of a fundamental misunderstanding. We could tell you everything and you'd still revert to your own superstitious intuition. I could make a guess but I can't sleep right now. Listen to the music and drown me out.

Cloistered in my own hermitic seal, the torment of living at the whim of others. What could we learn? What could happen if we were to be inside in another part of the world with something to live for. Here I just feel like I'm death reheated many times a day. Arguing over useless self-help manuals who wish to take 5 minutes of your life advertising useless junk.

Give her asylum so that she can live without draining the lives of everyone she meets. A paranoid energy vampire divulging too many plain secrets of madness to anyone who'll listen. Combine with cabin fever and she'll implode. Too much information on sordid details of her life living like the perpetual teenager. It gives you everything you never needed at all.

Drown in the sea of sound, of memory or of the distant past. The choice is anyone's yet I have the been defeated by the ghosts of anxiety and tension. I wish it all could just disappear even if I'm only ever going to feel disappointed that there was nothing to stop us at all. Nothing that could numb the pain.

 

Remedy The Renegade

Remedy the renegade. Chanting until the die is cast. Made me dream of another life that's deserted me. I'm on the outside looking back. No use for weapons here, no point in attack. I see you approaching in the coldness of the night. I wonder where it all went when time creeps by.

Sanction and sustain, times were we refrain. I'm growing old and more despondent. The lies I tell myself to keep my spirits up. "But do it with sincerity." Keep dreaming of an end of some sort if only just to tell myself that there's something. 

All I can focus on now is the pain that never leaves. All I can ask for is for something to work. Another prognosis with an unconfirmed shelf life. You know the story from here, we just write the words. Medication is all there is.

Shadow of The Environment

Turning faces to the same old tune. Mix me a molotov or fly me to the moon. The pain stops here or it inflames. Playing games with the order we've had before. Same old score. The clichés run in here as you would expect. I've come to expect nothing less. 

It's in the shadow of the environment. Cancelled appointments - the list of disappointments. Remember all your disturbed teenage dreaming. It'll never work here. But simplicity was the spice that came with a price. Your face in the shadows. Lurking in every memory.

Spindly wires have you remembering every disturbed teenage dream. The spaces between friends gets bigger. Spatially enclosed, the nightmares make you remember phrases in other languages. Even in bad syntax you get the blues. Piranhas in the bathtubs. The perfect place to bleed for careless translation in transport.

The injections will stop the pain only for a while. In the end there's always another diagnosis. If only things were perfect, these memories wouldn't hurt so much. How they rip me apart until I lay down and fall asleep again. These days I only dream in braille but maybe that's for the best when it happens.

In the shadow of the environment, I turn to you and I let go.