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The One Who Gets In The Way

It seems blackly comical that I persist in loving you even after the time has long since past. You misreading situations from the past like time immemorial. You wanted to be queen, you wanted to have the same feeling that destroyed me as a teenager. Petty jealousies run rife with you. Now you've got someone who has the same petty jealousies you once had. I'm just the enemy who gets in the way.

The feelings I believed in but was always too muted for your liking - too timid, no grandstanding acts of love and devotion. You pinpoint the negatives without looking at the reasons why. And if you did you'd twist them to suit your agenda. But then again, this time isn't your fault. You got ambushed when your guard was low and I would've worn you out with my medical provisions. It just hurts when I'm the one who gets in the way.

My bitterness has always been a part of me. I've said we'll still be friends but I sometimes wonder if that's the right decision. The more I live with this, the more I want to escape from everything and everyone. This is just the latest in the catalogue, don't worry about it. I can't compete, I haven't got the money. A move borne out of financial necessity. I can understand it but that doesn't make it any harder when I'm the one who gets in the way.

My sadness lives with me, dies with me. I walked into the flames and this is my reward. My life will fall apart but that's nothing new. I always had that fear and here we are now. I got complacent and I bite the bullet. I didn't have to put myself down, you've already done that for me.

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